


Dear Gerard

by mychemicaIromance



Category: MCR - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Angst, BoyxBoy, First Time, Fluff, Frerard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicaIromance/pseuds/mychemicaIromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bunch of journal entries from Frank Iero. I made this while I was v sad so it is sad. I can't really summarize without spoiling it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Gerard

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first fic on here. I posted the same story on wattpad so don't worry if you see it there (my watt pad is vampiremonet). Just an angst fic I made while I was depressed lol leave reviews!

1/1/15, frnkiero  
Dear Gerard, you disappeared last night. That was a shame. I didn't report you as a missing person, you'll come back, won't you? I hope so. I already miss your comforting words as I have my panic attacks, stronger now that you're gone. We were going to New York for New Years, remember? Maybe. You haven't been gone for that long. How could you leave in the middle of the night? I trusted you. Are you missing, did you go? I hate being alone. I love you, Gerard. Is it something I did? I hope not. Then I'll be sad. I already am though. Please come back, Gerard. Are you alive? I don't want to go through the rest of my life without you. Please come back. Please come back.

1/10/15  
Dear Gerard, you have been gone for so long. I can't sleep, I can't eat, all I do is throw up. I attempted suicide to join you in case you're dead. It didn't work. My mom walked in as I held the bottle of bleach to my lips. The lips you used to kiss. I'm so sorry, for whatever I have done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. Why have you left me? What did I do? I always please you, right? I gave you everything. My life, my virginity, my love, my hope. God, I remember that night. That was the best night of my life. I'm starting to think this is the worst. Please come back. Please come back. I love you.

2/14/15  
Dear Gerard, today is Valentine's Day. I bought you a box of chocolates and a silver locket with a picture of our first kiss. God, how you insisted we took that picture.

~

"Wanna kiss?" your soft lips asked. 

"Yeah," I whispered. You took out your Polaroid and pushed me against the concrete wall, wet from the rain. As we kissed, you took several pictures. The first few seconds were light, but soon you tongue was down my throat. Small gasps exited both of our bodies. Your mouth tasted like strawberry and bubblegum.

~

The Polaroids were nice. My favorite one was the one were a slight smirk was on your face. I could tell we had just started.

My tears, in droplets, fell over the closed locket. 

Why didn't you say hello? (Ever again.)

Why didn't you say goodbye? (Ever again.)

3/8/15  
Dear Gerard, you've been missing for months. Mother says I should just let go of you. She says I'm to young to know what love is. But oh, I know. Please come back. Why haven't you come back? Please come back. I still love you. Do you still love me? I remember those stupid heart sunglasses you wore, and the ones you made me wear. I still have mine. I wear them out for you (not that I ever go out). Please. I've attempted suicide four times since you left. Bleach, Xanax, blade, noose. Should I try again? How? Maybe I should shoot myself. Blow my brains out so I won't think of you, even in the afterlife. But how could I not? I still remember that night, filled with lust and love.

~

"Fuck, God, ah- Frankie!" you moaned loudly enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. I wrapped my legs around your waist, trying not to squirm. You let out one final moan and thrust before we were both finished. You fell down on top of me, grabbing a fistful of my hair.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too."

~

4/9/15  
Dear Gerard, today is your birthday. I got you a 36 set of Copic Markers. Mother said it was a waste of money, but I know you always wanted them. I don't know if you'll ever use them. Please come back and use them. I miss you. Remember Mr. Wentz, the music teacher? He got engaged. I think his name was Gabe Saporta. Haha, Mikey looked heartbroken. You would've laughed. You would've laughed so hard. I miss you. Please come back. Happy birthday. Mikey wishes you a happy birthday too. He misses you, though not as much as me. You were the only thing I had. You were my good. You were my home.

6/26/15  
Dear Gerard, today gay marriage was legalized across the United States. You would've been happy. We could've gotten married, even in Texas! I should've been happy, but I was sad. Sad because you weren't here to celebrate. I bet we would've fucked. We would've fucked for hours. No matter how selfish it sounds, I miss having sex with you. I will never have sex again. Not ever. I promise. (Unless it's with you.) Please come back.

8/16/15  
Dear Gerard, it's nearly time to go back to school. I'm not going. Not without you.

What am I doing here?, I ask myself.

There is no answer.

I miss your warmth. 

I attempted suicide again. I didn't get to shoot myself (I bet that would've worked). I tried to overdose on some strange drug mother brought home. It didn't work, just landed me in the hospital. Again. I miss you. Come back.

10/31/15  
Dear Gerard, today is my 18th birthday, making me an adult. I wish I could move out. I don't have the money or motivation. I want to move in with you. Please come back. I miss you. I don't have much to say but that. I really don't.

(Riot, you're such a fucking riot.  
Riot, you're such a fucking riot.)

Come back. Tell me to snap out of it.

1/1/16  
Dear Gerard, it's been one year since you disappeared. Come back. I miss you. I didn't go with Mikey to see the ball drop like we planned. We sobbed for hours in your old room (the basement, where everything happened. The basement, where everything happened.) I don't need this anymore. I don't. Please come back. What happened to you? Why haven't you come back? I thought you loved me. I still love you. Please return.

1/1/20  
Dear Gerard, today I was kicked out by my mother. On the anniversary of your disappearance. That's all I have to say. I'm growing colder.

1/1/23  
Dear Gerard, today I pulled the gun from my hand to answer the door. Dear Gerard, today was the day you came to my doorstep, your hair now red, your bones sticking out, blood spurting from your nose and lips, deep purple circles under your eyes, and said "Hey," with a rough voice, and I didn't even question you. Dear Gerard, today was the day I wrapped you in my blanket, and had to feed you myself because you were shaking so hard, and let you shower in my bathroom. Dear Gerard, today was the day that I threw out my gun and pills and alcohol, and today was the day I blurted out the, "Will you marry me?"

1/1/24  
Dear Gerard, today was the day you came out in your tuxedo, brown and blonde hair swooping in the wind, and walked down the aisle. And maybe the smile on your lips made all that waiting worth it. And dear god, was I glad that you rang the doorbell seconds before I pulled the trigger.


End file.
